Tuesday, 30 April 2013

How to Make a Dick of Yourself

As the saying goes, it's better to stay silent and be throught a fool than to speak and remove all doubt.
Buuuut, I don't seem to learn.  So I put my hand up to be interviewed on Makertorium TV.  Somehow I didn't register the "TV" part of it and assumed that the whole thing would be recorded in writing and make its way into the bowels of the internet to stay mostly unread and grow pixel mould.  Then I realised that my voice would get recorded and made an expression that looked like my face was trying to eat itself.  I was once interviewed by Radio NZ and sounded like a moron there.  For some reason all my friends always sound very accomplished and knowledgeable about their interview topic, and I come across like a half-baked idiot with hedgehogs in my mouth. Maybe I shouldn't talk?

Seconds before MsBehaviour started asking me questions, it dawned on me that there was a camera involved.  I asked for a paper bag to put over my head, but there wasn't one available.  It was too late to sulk, but not too late to get an irksome flashback.

I once got shoved in front of a news crew to give an opinion about something unmemorable.  I was walking down the street, minding my own business, when I bumped into a friend; and as we walked along talking, we saw some dudes with a news camera.  I quickly started turning to make an avoidance detour, but my limelight loving friend grabbed my arm and pulled me towards the reporter.  We got asked some pointless questions, which my companion responded to with gusto.  I came up with some ridiculously banal reply, thinking that there was no way they would put such crap on TV, and I'd be off the hook.  I shoud have known better.  I came across like a freshly lobotomised institution escapee.

The Makertorium inverview was a live stream, and while I zealously blabbered on about something that sounded meaningful to me at the time, I kept thinking how MsBehaviour's eyes were an insane hue of blue, and that I really should have found myself a paper bag.

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