Monday 31 December 2012

Happy New Year from Grandfather Frost

Ahh, the new year is almost here.  Grandfather Frost has had a pretty nasty year, but he has managed to break of of jail just in time to wish you a happy 2013!  His idea of celebrating the event is drinking a three litre jar of vodka over a venison bbq, and this is what brought about his incarceration at the start of 2012.  As the New Year's night progressed, and the spirits warmed his blood Grandpa Frost went from jolly to enraged over some Elf jokes about his weight, personal hygiene and drink driving.  The little Elves didn't stand a chance against his tattooed knuckles and his heavy sacks of toys.  The first sunrise of 2012 illuminated a disturbing scene: dozens of unconscious elves were splattered around the snow in pools of semi-frozen blood, the dead deer with missing chunks of flesh lay next to the still smoking bbq grill; Grandfather Frost slumped backwards over a beheaded deer, with a half-eaten pickled cucumber still in his hand.  He awoke to sirens and before he even fully regained consciousness, he found himself charged with various criminal offences including aggravated assault, disorderly behaviour and animal cruelty.  Learn from Grandfather Frost's misdemeanours and have a safe and happy 2013!

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